When getting married, most couples never anticipate that they might divorce someday. That being said, divorce rates in the US are on the rise. You must remember that ending a marriage is never easy, but you can take steps to ensure the process is less painful. Whether you are already going through a tough breakup or just considering getting a divorce, read on to learn how to make your divorce less painful.
Keep It Short When Breaking The News To Your Family
Keep your responses authentic, honest, and brief when talking to people about your divorce. You should limit lengthy explanations to make the time and space to deal with the mental turmoil that you would be going through. You might feel like you owe your loved one an explanation of what went wrong with your marriage, but you should also remember that you don’t owe your details to anyone.
You also do not need to entertain any unsolicited advice or inappropriate response from any family member regarding the situation. If something similar occurs, excuse yourself by politely thanking them for their concern. You can be honest with them, but just remember that you don't need any feedback or justify your decision to them in any way.
Be Prepared For Your Partner to Change During The Divorce
A couple has reached the point of divorce because of unhappiness and disagreements. Any one of the partners may turn uncharacteristically hostile while the divorce proceedings carry on. It takes no time for a partner to go from being a cooperative co-parent to an aggressive opponent. They start to objectify their spouse as they see the divorce as a competition they need to win.
During this time, they might become unrecognizably aggressive toward the other spouse. This radical shift in demeanor can be very detrimental to the other spouse and challenging for them to accept. This is why you must prepare yourself emotionally to accept that your partner may behave very differently with you, and you should have a proper plan to cope with the situation.
Getting Equal Custody of The Children Might Not Always Be Ideal
Sharing equal custody of the children is not always the ideal arrangement, although it is what most parents want. When deciding how to divide the time with the children, you must keep factors such as finances, geography, and work schedules in mind. In addition, you need to be honest and prioritize what is best for the children.
You need to consider the child's needs, temperament, and other practicalities instead of focusing on how much child support you will have to give or will receive when devising how to split the time between the two of you. You have to think about custodial arrangements that will benefit your child by lowering the impact of the divorce on them, especially if one parent may have to plan something disruptive to the child's routine.
Leave The Emotional Side Of the Children Outside the Divorce
As parents who are getting divorced, dragging your children into your emotional problems is the worst thing you can do. Adults must remediate divorce as it is an adult issue; therefore you must be very careful not to get the children involved. If there is a dispute involving child custody in your divorce, try to resolve them without getting the children dragged into the fray. The changing status of your relationship with your co-parent should in no way undermine the relationship that you have with your children.
Make Sure You Get Appropriate Emotional Support
When you get divorced, you dissolve one of your most important relationships. If you depended a lot on your former spouse for emotional support, it could be very unsettling not to have that stability factor in your life. This is why you need to rely on your family and friends so they can support you through this challenging period in your life.
Divorce can be a complicated process if you try to attempt it alone. Therefore you must get enough emotional support from the people in your comfort zone during this time. In addition, the logistical matter of the divorce proceedings can be particularly taxing, so don’t hesitate to ask for someone's assistance with issues such as childcare or moving house. If they love you, they will eagerly help you out.
Join A Divorce Support Group
Friends and family can be an incredible source of support during this time, but sometimes it might not be enough. You might feel reluctant to open up about the struggles you are facing emotionally with the people that are closest to you. It would be difficult for your close ones to remain neutral and unbiased. This is when you can join a divorce support community.
In a divorce support group, you are in the company of other people who can relate to what you are going through. They will not get tired of hearing your story and will never judge you for what you share with them. You can let go of any feeling of isolation once you connect with other people who are also dealing with divorce. This way, you can also escape feeling marginalized by family and friends.
Take The Services of Qualified Lawyers
Even if you are on amicable terms with your ex-partner, it makes good sense to enlist the help of professional legal services, like the ones provided by a Salt Lake City or Orange County divorce mediator so that your agreements all make good sense legally. It is wise to have a legal attorney check the papers you devised with your ex-partner. You can avoid any mistakes if you get the paperwork checked out by someone with a legal eye.
Consider Getting a Prenup
When two people get divorced, they have to defer to the state's law to find out how their properties will be distributed. This is why it makes a lot of sense to get a prenup before you get married. This allows you to draw up your agreement that states your wishes for property and asset disbursement in the case of a divorce.
Also, when discussing having a prenup, you have conversations with your partner that reveal how they foresee the partnership in the future. These discussions allow couples to discuss sensitive issues such as roles and money management. You can discover many things about your partner when you both participate in this type of discussion.
Accept that All Assets Might Not Get Divided Equally
It is undoubtedly sensible to split the shared assets down the middle. But this rarely happens in most divorces. You must remember that most divorce settlements are seldom fair. Letting go of the expectation of a fair settlement upfront can make the process easier for you. You will be better off trying to efficiently resolve the divorce instead of focusing on splitting every dollar equally.
If you remember that divorce doesn't bring out the best in a person, you will be able to rise to the occasion. This way, you will be able to give more than you are comfortable providing and receive less than you are comfortable taking.
Try to Embrace The Pain of Divorce
It is very natural for you to try and avoid the feelings of pain and loss that is inherent with divorce. But it might backfire if you keep shoving your emotions aside for too long. There are important unavoidable feelings that you will experience when going through a divorce. You must face them instead of avoiding the pain, as this will only prolong the process.
The feelings will sweep you over when you are most vulnerable, so instead of avoiding them, face them consistently and steadily. This direct approach to confronting the pain will make the problematic emotions more manageable and easier to dissipate. Unfortunately, no matter your circumstances, you will have to face some pain while getting divorced. So allow it to be present so that it can pass quicker.
Summing Up
One thing you can do to make your divorce painless is simply to be nice to each other. You can mitigate the end of the marriage a lot easier if you continue to be nice to one another. Just learn from your own mistakes, remember to thank your partner for the lessons they taught you, and be willing to move on. Each divorce is different, having unique circumstances, but being kind and decent with each other despite the bitterness of the separation can aid you in steering clear of future disputes and healing quicker. Also, get some legal help from experienced lawyers; it always helps to have some sound advice while navigating the process of divorce.
