What Happened to Sheree Spencer? The True Story Behind My Wife, My Abuser and Where She Is Now.
The Channel 5 documentary My Wife, My Abuser, now available on Netflix, unveils the harrowing story of Richard Spencer’s abuse at the hands of his wife, Sheree Spencer. Over two decades, Richard suffered physical and emotional abuse in silence, a torment that went unnoticed by the outside world until it was eventually brought to light.
Living in an affluent East Yorkshire suburb with their three daughters, the couple presented an image of a perfect family. However, behind closed doors, Sheree inflicted horrific abuse on Richard. Footage from nanny cams, originally installed to monitor their children, eventually captured the true extent of Sheree's violent behavior, leading to her sentencing in March 2023 to four years in prison. The documentary features Richard’s personal accounts, nanny cam recordings, audio clips, and photographic evidence, giving insight into the nightmare he endured.
Who is Sheree Spencer? Sheree held a senior position with the HM Prison and Probation Service while carrying out her abusive behavior against her husband. Her abuse included physical attacks, such as spitting, punching, and hitting Richard, leaving him with visible injuries that he often concealed with makeup to avoid suspicion from others. Sheree’s assaults even escalated to threatening Richard with a knife and striking him with a wine bottle, which caused permanent disfigurement to his ear.
What Happened to Sheree Spencer? Sheree’s abusive campaign against Richard spanned two decades, but her cruelty was not limited to physical violence. She also exercised financial control, forcing Richard to take out loans for family expenses while refusing to contribute financially. Sheree threatened to fabricate accusations against him if he attempted to reveal the abuse, creating an atmosphere of fear and control.
In court, Sheree pleaded guilty to coercive control and three counts of assault occasioning actual bodily harm. The crimes she admitted to occurred between 2016 and 2021. Judge Kate Rayfield, who presided over the case, called it "the worst case of controlling and coercive behavior I have seen."
PC Adele Jenkinson of Humberside Police praised Richard’s courage, stating, "I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge Mr. Spencer’s strength, courage, and patience throughout the criminal investigation and hope that this custodial sentence gives him, his friends, and family some closure so that they can move forward and look towards a happier future."
After Sheree’s sentencing, Richard bravely shared his experience, saying, "I have become resigned to the fact that I will never fully recover from her abuse and that it will have a permanent damaging impact on mine and my family's life. Sheree's abuse towards me evolved and escalated over time; she used repeated acts of physical assault, threats, verbal abuse, and humiliation to punish and exercise control over me."
Richard Spencer
How Was Sheree Spencer Caught? The breaking point came when Sheree contacted one of Richard’s friends, claiming he was intoxicated and that she feared for her safety. When the friend arrived, Richard confided in him, revealing the abuse and showing him video evidence captured by the nanny cams. The friend reported the abuse to the police on Richard’s behalf.
Richard explained that the nanny cams were installed after their first child was born, saying, “We had two — one in the playroom and one in the bedroom. They were there for reassurance, to keep an eye out because it’s a big house.” These recordings, along with audio clips and photos he had collected over time, served as crucial evidence in his case against Sheree.
A Life in Hiding and Fear Richard detailed how he lived in constant fear and shame, covering his bruises with makeup before taking his children to school to avoid suspicion. Reflecting on the manipulation he endured, he said, “Sheree remorselessly proclaimed that I deserved to be punished, and that it was a justifiable consequence of me disappointing her in some way.”
In her attempts to justify her actions during police interviews, Sheree presented herself as the victim, claiming that Richard had “threatened to kill her.” However, the overwhelming evidence contradicted her claims, leading to her conviction and sentencing.
Here are the top five worst things Sheree Spencer did to Richard Spencer as documented in My Wife, My Abuser:
- Physical Assaults with Permanent Injuries: Sheree subjected Richard to severe physical violence, including spitting, punching, and even attacking him with objects. In one especially brutal incident, she hit him with a wine bottle, leaving him with permanent injuries to his ear and elbow.
- Defecating on the Floor to Humiliate Him: Sheree reportedly defecated on the floor of their home to humiliate Richard, adding a deeply degrading and shocking element to the abuse she inflicted.
- Threatening with a Knife: In another horrifying episode, Sheree held a knife to Richard’s throat, using this act of intimidation to assert control and instill fear.
- Financial Control and Manipulation: Sheree forced Richard into taking out loans to cover family expenses and vacations while refusing to contribute financially herself. This financial abuse added to his stress and limited his means to escape the relationship.
- Psychological Manipulation and False Threats: Sheree would threaten to make false claims against Richard to the police, saying she would accuse him of abuse if he ever tried to report her. This manipulation made Richard feel trapped and forced him to hide his suffering from friends and family.
These actions, alongside her coercive control and manipulation, contributed to a two-decade-long campaign of abuse that ultimately led to Sheree Spencer’s conviction and a four-year prison sentence.
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The Aftermath Richard’s story stands as a rare and stark reminder of male victims of domestic abuse, an issue often overshadowed by cases involving female victims. In a statement following her sentencing, Humberside Police hoped the case would encourage all victims, regardless of gender, to come forward, stating, “Sheree Spencer is an abusive and violent woman who subjected her husband to years of abuse… I hope this outcome demonstrates to anyone affected by domestic abuse and violence that, no matter who you are, we will listen, support, and take positive action to deliver justice.”
The Spencers’ story sheds light on the complexities of abuse dynamics and the resilience required to escape them. Richard, now speaking out publicly, hopes his experience will inspire other victims of domestic abuse to seek help, and his brave disclosure marks an important step in raising awareness of male victims who suffer in silence.
