Life can certainly be complicated at times, and of course like all things this also applies to the relationships that we have. Even though your marriage might have turned out less than ideal, it doesn’t mean it has to carry over to your co-parenting plan. While co-parenting after a divorce can be messy, it’s also not impossible.
You start by building an effective shared parenting schedule and sticking with the agreement. Sure, changes to the plan are probably going to be necessary but this doesn’t mean you can create an ideal one for your family. Ready to start planning? Here’s a look at some essential steps that can help simplify the process.
Tips on Creating a Workable Shared Parenting Plan
You may not have gotten along with your spouse, especially near the end of your marriage. However, don’t be surprised if things go a little more smoothly as your divorce nears its end. The closer you get to finalizing a divorce the easier the process tends to get. In a sense, everyone’s just relieved the legal drama is almost over. All that’s left is creating a shared parenting plan that puts your children first.
Consider Your Child’s Best Interests
As a parent, you’re used to your needs being somewhere at the bottom. Your life more or less revolves around your children. This is sort of the way it’s supposed to be. You’re responsible for your child’s well-being and education. Even your child’s religious beliefs tend to land on your shoulders. It’s a lot for parents, and it’s not something easily done alone.
Your child’s best interests aren’t limited to what they want. While you should listen to their preferences when it comes to things like living arrangements, keep in mind your child doesn’t always know what’s best. So, what should you and your former partner consider?
- Physical needs: Your child’s physical needs cover things like shelter, food, clothing, mobility, exercise, rest, medical care, and protection from harm.
- Emotional needs: Children, especially younger ones, benefit from having both parents in their lives. This helps reinforce a healthier mental state which can take a beating during a divorce.
Meeting your child’s emotional needs should always be a priority and this usually means keeping both parents in their life. Your child’s physical needs are a little different. One parent may be better situated than the other. If this applies, try to create a shared parenting plan that meets these needs. Even if it means giving up some time with your child.
Your child’s best interests can also be impacted by more mundane things like the distance between their parents’ homes. One parent moving further away after a divorce isn’t exactly unheard of. Your shared custody agreement should consider this. After all, you don’t want to put your child through a long trip a couple of times a week. Your co-parenting arrangement may look something like one week on and off.
Work schedules can also impact your child’s best interests. For example, if one parent typically works late into the evening it’s probably not in the child’s best interest to sit home by themselves. Your child’s extracurricular activities can also play a role in what your shared parenting plan looks like. Just remember, there’s no right or wrong shared parenting plan as long as your child’s best interests are being met.
Check Out Some Co-Parenting Plan Templates
Figuring out a shared parenting plan in your mind isn’t all that difficult. The trouble usually starts when you try to get it on paper. Suddenly, what seemed ideal in your head is a mess. There are days when neither you nor your former spouse have custody of your child. Yep, this is a big problem.
Did you know there are countless shared parenting plan templates out there for you to use? Your divorce attorney or child custody mediator should have templates lying around. Use them! The template doesn’t necessarily have to be exactly what you follow but it can help you work out some of the kinks. Maybe have you and your former partner fill out a template and compare the results.
Don’t freak out if your templates are completely different. What you can do is start working to see if you can’t reach some middle ground. Neither of you may get the perfect co-parenting schedule but it’s ideal for your family.
Cover Any Decision- Making Questions
With shared custody, both parents typically have a say in how their child is raised. You and your child’s other parent have an equal say in everything from healthcare and education to religion. However, what happens if there’s an emergency and one parent is unreachable? Don’t think it can’t happen. Power outages are becoming more common and this can knock out email. Smartphones can die and don’t forget about those do not disturb meetings.
So, what happens when a decision regarding your shared child can’t wait for both parents’ response? Figuring out how to handle this scenario now is the best way of ensuring your child can always receive the care they need.
Have a Communication Plan
Keeping track of all communications regarding your shared child isn’t easy even when both parents are in the same home. Now, you’re trying to manage communications between two households. Things are bound to fall through the cracks.
Instead of trying to remember to text and/or email your former partner everything relating to your shared child, why not make things a little easier? You can take advantage of secure co-parenting apps. Yep, there really is an app for just about anything. The app makes it easy for you and your child’s other parent to always stay up-to-date. Some apps even have a video platform to make it easier for the child to stay in touch with both of their parents.
Creating an Effective Co-Parenting Plan
Creating a co-parenting plan that actually works doesn’t need to be a nightmare to do. However, it is going to require a lot of back and forth and open communication between you and your former spouse. Just remember to keep your child’s best interests front and center at all time and don’t hesitate to use tools like online apps and ask for help if you run into any roadblocks along the way.
