It’s a phenomenon that baffles many—why do some women develop intense romantic feelings for murderers and other violent criminals?
From the chilling cases of Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer to modern-day killers like Chris Watts and sex video fanatic Luigi Mangione attract dedicated admirers, some even forming relationships or marrying them while they’re behind bars.
The psychology behind this attraction is complex, rooted in everything from trauma to a desire for control.
Forensic experts, psychologists, and researchers have examined this strange yet persistent fascination, trying to answer the question: Why do some women fall in love with society’s most dangerous men?
Jeffrey Lionel Dahmer ( May 21, 1960 – November 28, 1994), infamously known as the Milwaukee Cannibal or the Milwaukee Monster, was an American serial killer and sex offender. Between 1978 and 1991, he murdered and dismembered seventeen men and boys.
America’s media landscape has played a significant role in glorifying and romanticizing criminals. According to the Pew Research Center, true crime is the most popular podcasting genre in the U.S., with millions tuning in to hear about gruesome murders and unsolved mysteries. Reddit’s r/serialkillers page has over 500,000 members, proving there’s an undeniable public obsession with the macabre.
Deborah Jaramillo, an associate professor of film and television studies at Boston University’s College of Communication, explains that the U.S. media environment is uniquely designed to create and sustain "celebrity criminals." Serial killers, in particular, often become dark pop culture icons, with their crimes dissected in books, documentaries, and online forums.
But what drives some women beyond mere fascination—toward actual romantic attachment?
The term hybristophilia describes a paraphilia (a condition involving abnormal sexual desires) in which someone is attracted to a person who has committed a heinous crime. Dubbed the "Bonnie and Clyde Syndrome," hybristophilia explains why certain women write love letters to men on death row, send them money, or even marry them in prison.
Forensic psychologist Katherine Ramsland has studied the motivations behind these relationships and found that women often give similar reasons for their attraction:
Dr. Leon F. Seltzer, a psychologist who has worked with women drawn to dangerous men, suggests that some are influenced by primitive instincts. The idea of a dominant, powerful male as a protector dates back to human evolution, making certain women unconsciously attracted to these figures, despite knowing the dangers they pose.
But while hybristophilia is a clinical term, not all women drawn to criminals fit into this psychological category. Other deep-rooted social, emotional, and cultural factors are at play.
Support has been building for Luigi Mangione over killing of US healthcare boss Brian Thompson.
Heather Mooney, a visiting professor at Le Moyne College, spent years researching true crime audiences, specifically why women are the genre’s primary consumers. Her findings? Over 70% of true crime audiences are college-educated, heterosexual women aged 18 to 34.
When Mooney asked women why they were drawn to these disturbing stories, the most common answer was unexpected: safety and self-education.
"For many women, watching true crime is a form of preventive education," Mooney explains. "They want to learn about red flags, warning signs, and how to protect themselves from becoming victims."
In Jaramillo’s classes, she observes a similar pattern. Many women bond over true crime, sharing stories and discussing how to stay safe in a world that often feels threatening.
"There’s something about listening and watching these stories that builds a sense of solidarity," Jaramillo says. "Women relate to the victims, and in doing so, they relate to each other."
This need for control over personal safety could also explain why some women gravitate toward convicted killers. If the worst kind of man—the violent, manipulative predator—is safely locked away, he poses no direct threat. In a strange way, engaging in a controlled relationship with a dangerous person may feel safer than dealing with the unpredictable dangers of the real world.
While the media often sensationalizes white male serial killers, Mooney’s research found that Black women in true crime communities focus on cases that directly impact their own communities.
"For the Black women I spoke to, it wasn’t about serial killers—it was about missing Black women whose cases were ignored by mainstream media," Mooney explains.
The true crime obsession varies based on background and experience. White women may focus on "stranger danger" crimes—attacks by unknown predators—whereas Black women may be more invested in solving cases that law enforcement neglects.
It’s not just women who find true crime compelling. Mooney found that men who follow the genre often do so out of a desire to protect their loved ones.
"Many of the men I interviewed said, 'This is why I carry a gun. I need to know how to defend my wife, my sister, my kids,'" Mooney says.
Other men become fascinated with criminal psychology, even choosing careers in criminal justice, law enforcement, or forensic science after exposure to true crime media.
Throughout history, there have been multiple high-profile cases of women forming relationships with notorious killers:
Richard Ramirez (February 29, 1960 – June 7, 2013), known as the Night Stalker, was an American serial killer who murdered at least 14 people in California from 1984 to 1985.
The rise of social media and true crime content has made it easier for individuals to express attraction to violent criminals. A 2023 study found that platforms like TikTok, YouTube, and Reddit allow users to openly discuss their "crushes" on murderers, often romanticizing them in ways that would have been socially unacceptable decades ago.
"If social media provides an anonymous space for self-expression, some people will use it to publicly admire or even fantasize about criminals," the study concluded.
Sociologist Heather Schoenfeld warns that the true crime boom may have unintended consequences.
"These stories reinforce a culture of control," she says. "People may not be able to control their socioeconomic status, but they can control how they protect themselves from perceived threats."
This obsession with safety can lead to support for harsh criminal justice policies, racial profiling, and increased fear of strangers—even though most violent crimes are committed by people the victim knows.
Luigi Mangione’s case has sparked an unexpected and disturbing wave of admiration from people across the country and even globally.
Despite the shocking nature of his crime—the cold-blooded execution of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson on December 4, 2024—Mangione has garnered a loyal following.
Adding to the intrigue surrounding Luigi Mangione, Lawyer Monthly recently reported on a shocking scandal, revealing that the CEO murder suspect Luigi Mangione had filmed more than 20 explicit videos, further complicating the already complex narrative of his life and crimes. For more details, read the full article here.
His supporters, many of whom feel disenfranchised by the healthcare system, see him as a symbol of rebellion against what they perceive as systemic greed. The 26-year-old Ivy League graduate, who once charmed women with his handsome looks and charisma, now receives letters and photos from people, some of whom express admiration for his defiance.
Mangione himself has publicly acknowledged the overwhelming support he’s received, stating that he’s “grateful” for the letters, but has requested that fans refrain from sending so many photos, as they’ve been flooding in from all corners of the world.
His legal defense site describes how his supporters—spanning political, racial, and class divides—have sent an outpouring of messages, sharing their personal stories and expressing solidarity with his actions.
Some of Mangione’s fans even showed up at his court appearances, holding signs demanding healthcare reform and carrying plush versions of the video game character Luigi, a nod to his name.
At the federal level, Luigi Mangione faces murder and stalking charges while in Pennsylvania, he faces firearm-related violations and other counts. He has yet to make pleas in those venues.
This bizarre mixture of admiration from women who once found him charming and individuals who agree with his anti-establishment motives, highlights a disturbing psychological dynamic.
Mangione was described as someone who easily drew people in with his easy-going nature, intelligence, and good looks—traits that made him a 'dreamy' figure at co-working spaces like Hub Co-working Hawaii.
To those who knew him before his arrest, it’s difficult to reconcile the affable young man they saw every day with the alleged assassin now facing first-degree murder and terrorism charges.
Many still can't fathom that the man who was so engaging in the office, someone who had no apparent signs of violent tendencies, would later be accused of carrying out such a heinous act in the name of healthcare reform.
Yet, his supporters continue to rationalize his actions as a necessary retaliation, expressing admiration for the same qualities that once made him a social butterfly—a charming, confident, and ambitious young man—while ignoring the deadly consequences of his actions.
The fascination with killers isn’t just about morbid curiosity—it reflects deeper anxieties about power, control, and survival. Some women are drawn to dangerous men due to trauma, a desire for protection, or the illusion of the "perfect" relationship. Others engage with true crime as a means of self-defense, education, or communal bonding.
While the glorification of criminals can be problematic, true crime stories also provide a mirror into our society’s fears, biases, and values. The question isn’t just why some women fall for murderers—but what that says about the world we live in.
