By now, plenty of people in North Dakota — and probably a lot of lawyers across the country — have heard about what happened in Minot. But in case you missed it: Mayor Tom Ross resigned after sending a masturbation video to the city’s attorney. He said it was a mistake. A mix-up. Something that wasn’t meant for her at all.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth: Even if he didn’t mean to send it, the damage was done. And legally? That might still count as workplace sexual harassment.
It started on what was already a difficult day. Ross and City Attorney Stefanie Stalheim had just wrapped up a call about a police officer’s suicide — heavy news by any measure.
Minutes later, Ross texted her a video.
Not just any video — a sexually explicit one. Of himself.
He called her right after. Asked her to delete it. Claimed it was meant for his girlfriend, whose name starts with "C," while Stalheim was saved in his phone as "City Attorney." He also blamed switching phones — apparently, iPhones and Samsungs don’t play nice when it comes to sending private content.
But tech hiccup or not, a sexually explicit video wound up on a city employee’s phone. And in the eyes of the law, that matters.
It’s a question that pops up in a lot of workplace harassment cases: Does it count if it was an accident?
Turns out, intent isn’t everything.
Under employment law — including Title VII — what matters more is how the incident impacts the work environment. If someone receives something that’s sexual in nature, didn’t ask for it, and it creates a hostile, uncomfortable, or distressing atmosphere? That can qualify as harassment, even if it wasn’t on purpose.
“The law looks at the impact, not just the motive,” says an employment lawyer familiar with digital misconduct cases. “It’s about whether the workplace became intimidating, offensive, or abusive.”
In other words, even an “oops” can land an employer or public official in serious legal trouble.
The incident didn’t just affect Stalheim.
After receiving the video, she was so shocked she told investigators she literally fell out of her chair. She was already processing emotional news, and suddenly, she’s the unexpected recipient of a private, deeply inappropriate message from her city’s top official.
And it didn’t stop there.
An HR employee who tried to help delete the video accidentally played it — and ended up seeing some or all of it. That means multiple people in city government were now pulled into something they never consented to, never expected, and couldn’t unsee.
Let’s put the legal side down for a second. Just think about this from a leadership perspective.
Ross was using a personal device for city business. He was juggling conversations about city affairs with private communications to a romantic partner — and somehow, those worlds collided.
Whether or not he meant for it to happen, there’s a reason we expect more from public officials. Trust, professionalism, boundaries — those are part of the job. And when someone blurs those lines, there’s usually a price to pay.
In this case, it was Ross’s job.
Resignation might be the end of Ross’s political role, but that doesn’t mean the story’s over.
Could the city — or Ross personally — face legal action? It’s possible.
If someone affected by the incident chooses to file a claim, the legal routes could include:
Sexual harassment due to a hostile work environment
Emotional distress
Mishandling of digital communication in a workplace setting
Right now, no lawsuits have been filed.
Before his resignation, Tom Ross was a well-known figure in Minot, North Dakota. Born and raised in the city, he graduated from Minot State University, where he led campus organizations, including serving as president of Sigma Tau Gamma fraternity.
Professionally, Ross built a two-decade career in broadcasting and later worked as a Workforce Development Specialist at the Quentin Burdick Job Corps Center.
He was deeply involved in community leadership, serving on the Minot Chamber of Commerce, the Minot State University Board of Regents, and Task Force 21, among others.
Ross is also a father of three and enjoys outdoor activities like golfing, camping, and fishing.
Despite a career built on public service and local engagement, a single digital misstep has now reshaped his legacy — and raised big questions about accountability, professionalism, and the risks of blurred boundaries in public office.
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