D-Day happened once on 06 June 1944. The Normandy Landings or Operation Neptune was a military campaign of global significance which cost thousands of lives.
In recent years, a mythical D-Day has been propagated and cynically pitched to people at Christmas. This is Divorce-Day. The first working day after the Christmas holiday on which, supposedly, a small army of disgruntled spouses contact divorce lawyers like me en masse seeking a divorce.
The theory goes that being cooped up at Christmas without the routine of work combined with arguments about turkey convince people their marriage is over.
Christmas can be stressful, but I do not believe applications for divorce actually increase at this time of year. The whole thing is bunkum.
I take particular issue with the linguistic comparison to battle.
A divorce can be one of the most stressful, emotionally draining and all-consuming events any individual can go through. It is one of the truly great human psychological shocks, akin to bereavement. What it should not be is a battlefield where irresponsible lawyers play out toy soldier campaigns at the emotional and financial expense of vulnerable, separating people. The comparison to the Normandy Landings is unhelpful. It is also entirely contrary to some incredible work and guidance overseen by the President of the Family Court, Sir Andrew McFarlane, who tells us that “language matters” in the law. If we speak in combative terms, we are likely to make the process of divorce unnecessarily combative. The answer? Do not speak in unnecessarily combative terms. Do not associate divorce with D-Day.
Is there any grain of truth in the idea of Divorce-Day? Apart from a few people making tentative enquiries which they might not have done were it not for Christmas - no. Save for one hugely important exception. It is an inescapable truth that incidents of domestic violence and abuse increase around the Christmas holidays. Victims of abuse may need protection and family lawyers will always work urgently at any time of year to put these protections in place. Often, where protection from abuse is required, divorce will follow, but divorce is a secondary consideration.
Some time ago, I appeared on BBC Breakfast on New Year's day to talk about this “phenomenon” and I said that people who have a stressful Christmas and feel that they need to end their relationship should first consider relationship counselling and at the very least “cool off.” I stand by that. It may be helpful to understand your position by speaking to a lawyer but do not rush to issue divorce proceedings. Perhaps, therefore, the more fundamental issue to address is the stress generated by Christmas in the first place. We may all benefit from giving this some thought in the years to come.
