position, in a way that I know would not have happened when first meeting you at the individual meeting.” In the icebreaker, I signpost for participants how the process will operate. The facilitated development of ground rules for the joint meeting is an aspect that reassures the participants that their wellbeing matters. This is relevant where the dynamics of power are operating among the participants. Also, where there have been concerns raised about bullying and harassment, participants may be fearful of being in the same room as each other. The change in state from the traumatised person I meet for the first time at an icebreaker, compared to their authentic self that they present at the individual meeting, is stark and positive. Let me give an example of the benefits of an icebreaker. In October 2021, I was conducting a mediation of five members of a senior leadership team for a large organisation. The issues had persisted for three years. One of the participants, a senior manager, told me that she was so grateful for my explaining the ACAS model of mediation and how we conduct ourselves throughout. She told me she key benefit for me as a mediator is that we are no longer meeting as strangers at the individual meeting. The key factor in developing that essential, authentic rapport is that I get to know the real person, not merely their role. I schedule the individual meeting two days after the icebreaker. Participants reflect on their issues in the light of their trust and confidence in me. This promotes a deeper engagement with me at the individual meeting, rather than at the superficial level that would otherwise be the case. The depth and detail of the discussions in the individual meeting, according to the feedback I receive, would not have been possible without the icebreaker and their time for deep reflection and subsequent distillation of the core ingredients of their issues. Direct feedback from a recent participant affirms these benefits: “As a direct result of the icebreaker, I am able to tell you things about me, and the situation, that would not have been possible if we had met for the first time at the individual meeting. I developed real trust and confidence in you, to do so. I had time to reflect and come to this considered was aged 34. Her previous experience of ‘mediation’ was aged seventeen. She was at school and was being mercilessly bullied. Her Headmaster told her that he would arrange mediation for her and the bully. 90 LAWYERMONTHLY SEPTEMBER 2022 It behoves all mediators to ensure that the first impression of them by a participant is as positive and engaging as possible.
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