The ‘mediation’ consisted of her and the bully sitting opposite to each other, whilst the headmaster sat in a corner. She was harangued by the bully for an hour, without intervention from the headmaster. After one hour, they were both told to leave his office. Once outside, she was beaten up again by the bully. She had no trust in the headmaster and for seventeen years, she had erroneously believed that this outrageous nonsense was ‘mediation’! She was relieved beyond words that this burden had been lifted from her after all that time. There is a postscript to this story. In May 2022, I was in another part of the organisation. It was a neutral venue for another mediation. I was walking along a corridor. The door to a room was open, and a lady in glasses smiled and said “Hello.” I said “Hello,” but was nonplussed as I did not recognise her. She said: “You don’t recognise me, do you?“ and, though I realised she was one of the previous participants. I admitted that I did not. She took off her glasses. I immediately recognised her as one of the five handed mediations from October. She said, “Thank you so much for what you did for us all last year. We are all getting on great and enjoying work.” How does your professional background benefit your work on mediation? In my career as a police officer, I conducted many interviews with victims, witnesses and suspects. I also interviewed colleagues across a range of matters. Often, people were fearful and traumatised. It was essential for me to connect with them in a human way, for them to feel comfortable to talk about their issues. I learnt not to prejudge anyone and to actively listen to what was said and to take a more holistic view on communication. This mindset is critical. Building authentic rapport and being independent of the organisation that commissions me are vitally important. This expertise has proved invaluable to me as a mediator. A CEO whose company entrusts me with mediation says: “The icebreaker provides the opportunity to address an anxiety, develop confidence in the process and the mediator, and most importantly establish the process is a safe place.” Do you have any other comments to make regarding the opening stages of workplace mediation? Oscar Wilde and Will Rogers are attributed to have said: “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” Studies show that a person will form their first impression somewhere between seven seconds and two minutes after meeting another. It behoves all mediators to ensure that the first impression of them by a participant is as positive and engaging as possible. THOUGHT LEADER 91 About Tony Munday “I am an independent ACAS-accredited workplace mediator and am similarly registered with the Civil Mediation Council. I was a senior leader during my police career. I was also trained in conflict resolution. I am a published author, having written ‘The ESSENTIAL Heart of a Leader’. This comprises twelve steps to becoming the leader that people trust, respect and follow. The locus of my mediation is therefore on conflicted senior teams. I can empathise with the challenges and context of leadership. I am also aware of the corrosive impact upon the wider organisation.” Contact Tony Munday Director Achieve Success UK Tel: +44 79058 68058 E: tony@achievesuccess.org.uk www.linkedin.com/in/tonymunday
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