Lawyer Monthly - August 2023

even and the other odd years. A court will similarly divide all school vacations in half. When the parties maintain control of the process in mediation, negotiation, or a collaborative process, the parents can be thoughtful, considering their unique circumstances in crafting an agreement. If you know that your family’s tradition is that the kids go to their mom’s side of the family for Thanksgiving every single year, and that their dad takes the kids to Florida for Christmas to see their grandparents, you can contract for that continued In what way do the outcomes of family mediation and ADR typically differ from those seen in litigation? Mediation and ADR allow for much more creative solutions than the courts are able to provide. In determining custody, for example, a court will often order that all holidays be shared by the parents in an evenodd fashion, with one parent getting changes; rather than simply advocating for what your client wants, the lawyer attempts to uncover the reasons why the client wants what he or she says she wants. In doing so, the hope is to address the underlying issues through solutions that are creative and tailored to individual families’ situations. What family law matters are most commonly addressed through mediation and ADR? Mediation is a voluntary process, and there really is nothing that cannot be mediated so long as all parties to a dispute are on board with attempting to resolve their issues in this way. In my practice, I mostly mediate divorces, but I have also mediated parenting plans for unmarried parties and gamete donor contracts. In my experience, prenuptial agreements are great candidates for mediation as these are easy cases to resolve because the circumstances around the negotiation are positive; the parties are in love and simply want to create a contract to govern their finances. THOUGHT LEADER 71 The most important principle underlying any alternative dispute resolution process, in my opinion, is a focus on the parties’ underlying interests and concerns rather than their stated positions.

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